KEVII Band Takes Over The World

(Record label says, “oh no what have we done now…”)

Reuter- The recent resurgence of bad hair-metal bands can be blamed on a band called the “KEVII Band”. Based mainly in Singapore, and occasionally, the whole fucking world, the KEVII band have been hailed as new rock messiahs of the 00’s.

“It’s hard to be modest when you’re better than 99.999% of the rest of the bands out there, but we try. We really do.”
-Anoymous Sexy Member of the KEVII Band


Photo: band

The band has hit every chart in existence at a breakthrough position of #1, including the Gramophone Classical charts, Harlem Jazz Magazine charts and the Swedish Death Metal Pop Hits Chart. Anarchists and common people the world over celebrated as pop queen Britney Spears’ song ‘You Drive My Baby Slave Crazy One More Time’ fell off the Top 40 where it has held strong for six hundred and sixty-six weeks. All forty positions of the chart are now filled up with KEVII Band’s new single, titled ‘I Hate the Retarded “You Drive My Baby Slave Crazy One More Time” Song’.

Iraqi citizens ran out of their war-torn houses and into the streets to welcome the KEVII Band tour buses blasting the hit single ‘I Hate the Retarded…Song’ out of 4000 watt ghetto speakers mounted on the front. Unfortunately, jubilation quickly turned into outrage as civilian casualties mounted, largely due to the bus drivers not being able to see past the massive speakers blocking their windshields.

Lastly, international demand has resulted in the band members finally agreeing to clone themselves into little midget versions of the super rock group, ‘just for the fans’. Be sure to check your local music stores and under your shoe cabinets in the near future for adorable miniature versions of these rockin’ rockers! Rock out!